When I work with clients, my goal isn’t to change how they sound. It’s to help them sound more like themselves — with a confident speaking style rooted in confidence and authenticity.
One of the first things I explain is that there is no single “right” way to be successful as a speaker. There are many successful speakers who sound completely different from one another. Some are high-energy and dynamic. Others are calm, grounded, and steady. Some rely on humor. Others rely on clarity and presence.
The only thing about their styles that they all have in common is that it’s authentic to who they each are. It’s important that my clients stay authentic to themselves so that they can also be successful.
Defining what you want others to experience
Early in our work together, I ask clients to write a short description of how they want others to describe them as a speaker.
Most people don’t write full sentences. They choose a handful of adjectives instead – words like:
- confident
- knowledgeable
- engaging
- passionate
- excellent story teller
Their unique description becomes the criteria we use to measure their progress. When they speak, would someone listening to them use those words to describe them?
Why Authetic and Confident Speaking Style matters
When speakers don’t have a clear definition of success, they default to imitation. They try to match the energy, tone, or presence of someone they admire, even when it doesn’t fit them.
That almost always leads to more self-consciousness. It can also make imposter syndrome worse!
Different bodies, different styles
Part of honoring authenticity means recognizing that people show up differently.
Some clients are naturally kinetic. Movement helps them think and maintain energy. Others feel most confident when they’re still. Some speak volumes with their hands. Others communicate more through voice and expression.
What matters is that your physical presence supports the qualities you want others to see.
Confidence comes from alignment
Authentic speaking isn’t about adding tricks or polishing away personality. It’s about alignment – between how you want to be perceived and how you actually show up.
When those things match, confidence follows naturally. Not because you learned the “right” style – but because you stopped trying to use someone else’s.
If you’re ready to develop a confident speaking style that feels authentic and effortless, explore personalized coaching with Queen City Etiquette and start speaking with confidence today.