I recently ran a workshop and asked the room how many people actually enjoy networking. Out of a full room of professionals, two hands went up.
Two. And that was one more than I had expected.
If you’re one of the many who finds networking somewhere between uncomfortable and unbearable, you’re definitely not alone. And if you’ve ever left a networking event with a stack of business cards you’ll never follow up on and a vague sense that the whole thing was a waste of time, this post is for you.
While networking probably won’t become your favorite activity, it can absolutely get less awkward. Applying business etiquette and the tips below, it can even become something you’re good at.
Why Does Networking Feel So Awkward?
There are really two things going on when networking feels uncomfortable.
The first is that nobody wants to be pitched to. Walking into a room knowing that people are there to sell themselves – and that you might get cornered by someone who launches into their elevator pitch before you’ve even learned their name – puts everyone on guard from the start.
The second is that most people simply don’t know what to do. There’s no script for walking up to a stranger at a professional event and starting a conversation that goes somewhere meaningful. Without a plan, it’s easy to either freeze up or default to awkward small talk that goes nowhere.
The fix for both comes down to business networking etiquette: understanding how to show up, how to connect, and how to follow up in a way that builds real relationships rather than just expanding your contact list.
How to Make Networking Less Awkward Before You Walk In
Give Yourself a Purpose
One of the most effective ways to reduce networking anxiety is to walk in with a specific goal. Not a vague “meet some people” goal, but a concrete one you can use to remind yourself why you’re there and give you something to do.
Try gamifying it. Tell yourself: “I want to meet three people who work in financial services” or “I’m going to have five meaningful conversations and give my card to anyone I genuinely connected with.” A specific purpose gives you direction and takes the pressure off trying to work the entire room.
Ditch the Elevator Pitch
If you’re planning to lead with a rehearsed summary of who you are and what you do, leave it at the door. It’s fortunately become less popular to lead with the pitch, but some people still do it. (I’ve talked to a lot of college students who are still receiving the advice from professors to start a conversation with their elevator pitch unfortunately.) Leading with this is one of the fastest ways to make someone’s eyes glaze over. Networking is about building connections, not delivering a sales pitch to strangers. Being able to speak naturally and in the moment is far more valuable and a skill you can develop. Here’s how to build your impromptu speaking skills.
Plan to Arrive Early
I know it’s counterintuitive for people who think they’ll make it easier by sneaking in late and leaving early. But when you arrive late, everyone has already settled into groups and are talking to people. When you arrive early, you get to be part of those groups when they form. It’s easier to find someone to talk to when there are fewer people there. Plus, you already have something in common: arriving on time!
Business Networking Etiquette Tips That Actually Work
Start With an Observation
Note that “create conversation starting questions” was not one of the tips for before the networking event. That’s because they can make things more awkward if they feel like they came out of the blue. (And sometimes you may even blank out and forget what you wanted to ask.)
One of the easiest ways to get a conversation started is by commenting about something you can observe. I recently went to a networking event wearing a blazer and jeans. There were two other people in the room dressed similarly. I started conversations with each of them by commenting on how the had good fashion sense. You can ask someone whether an appetizer they’ve grabbed tastes as good as it looks, or ponder with someone why there are so many people dressed in blue.
Be Genuinely Curious
Conversations move forward when you are genuinely, politely, curious about the other person. This also helps you keep a converation going and to find something you have in common.
This matters more than it might seem. People connect with others who are like them. We feel a kinship with those who share our interests, challenges, or experiences. When you find something you have in common with someone, it quickly builds know, like, and trust. They feel like they know you because you’re relatable. That feeling builds connection faster than any elevator pitch ever could.
Make It a Conversation, Not an Interrogation or a Soliloquy
A good networking conversation has a natural back and forth. It’s shared equally. I like ot think of it like being on a trampoline together: each person has moments where their voice is being elevated and moments where they’re elevating someone else’s voice.
What kills that momentum is tipping too far in either direction. Asking question after question without sharing anything about yourself starts to feel like an interrogation. Talking exclusively about yourself shuts the other person out entirely. Neither extreme builds connection. The goal is a mutual exchange where both people leave feeling seen and heard.
And smile. Be polite. If there’s food, don’t chew with your mouth open. (These things matter more than people think.)
Treat Everyone With the Same Respect
Getting to that point about being polite… be consistent in how you treat people. If you’re warm and engaged with someone you want to connect with but dismissive or rude to others in the room, people will notice. The person you’re trying to impress will notice too. How you treat everyone in the room says far more about your character than how you treat the one person you’re hoping to follow up with.
Don’t Force an Exchange of Contact Info or Business Card
Asking for someone’s contact information or trying to hand them your business card before you’ve had a real conversation, is one of the most common etiquette mistakes at networking events. This is the way to conclude the conversation, not get it started.
Learn and Use Their Name
Failing to learn someone’s name sends an unintentional message that you weren’t really paying attention. Make a conscious effort to catch it, use it 2-3 times early in the conversation to help it stick, and don’t be afraid to ask again if you missed it. Most people appreciate the effort far more than they mind the ask.
Common Business Networking Etiquette Mistakes to Avoid
- Making the conversation entirely about yourself
- Never sharing anything about yourself and becoming a silent listener
- Treating people differently based on how useful you think they might be
- Leading with your elevator pitch
- Trying to exchange contacts or business cards before having a real conversation
- Failing to learn the other person’s name
Does networking get easier over time?
Yes! With practice and the right approach, networking absolutely gets less awkward. It may never become your favorite activity (Is it anyone’s favorite?), but with a clear purpose, genuine curiosity, and solid business networking etiquette, you can walk into a room with confidence and walk out with real connections.
The goal isn’t to become someone who loves networking. The goal is to get good enough at it that it stops feeling like something to dread and starts feeling like something you can actually do well.
Ready to Build Your Networking Confidence?
Networking sits at the intersection of communication skills and professional etiquette — and both are things that can be learned. Whether you’re looking to sharpen your business etiquette or build the communication confidence to walk into any room and hold your own, explore our programs or book a free consultation to find out how we can help.